Taking chances
by Takara-chan
Summary: It has been two years Nick and Julia have been together, and everything for them went like a perfect romance. Until the day Nick's disease broke them apart.. but could love be strong enough to keep them together? this is a sequal to Love Happens please R
1. Chapter 1

:Two years later:

It was a beautiful morning, not chilled but neither was it scorching hot; just a perfect spring morning. The air was sweet and the sounds of life around her sent excitement sizzling through her. "Next up, Nick Brookes," said a host in the near by stands and the crowd applauded and cheered wildly; Julia making sure to be one of the loudest.

Nick's lean, fit figure came jogging up to the obstacle course, where he would be timed. Anticipation Filled Julia as she stood and watched with her heart caught in her throat. It always worried her when he ran like this, knowing how bad it was for him and how careful he had to be. Just six months before he had collapsed in the middle of a race and had to be rushed to the emergency room.

Julia shivered toward the thought and tried her very best to shake away the memory and try and focus on the optimistic side.

"Get set, go!" the host called out in his radio voice as Nick thundered out into field of hurtles and obstacles. He was like lightning, just as fast as he ran. Julia had no doubt he was gifted, and just the way she saw him enjoying the feeling of nearly flying through air made her smile for him. It was just the risky side of it. She cared for him more then anything, and the very thought of one wrong race taking him away from her forever—well, it sometimes kept her up at night.

"He cleared the first hurtle!" The host cried out, "and—woah, the second he cleared with a good 2 feet to spare!"

"Come on, come on," she breathed quietly. "Almost there, almost done;" all she needed was to see him finish the race and find him still moving and not collapsing. She could at least handle the idea of him becoming overly breathless as long as he could get his inhaler and fill his lungs with the air he needed.

"He's coming on his last hurtle! Record time, this guy is good!" The host's impression was enough to get the crowd cheering even more wildly when he cleared the last hurtle and slowed down to breathe and take in the victory of finishing in such a great time. "That was Nick Brookes, with a magnificent timing of 2:38; and that puts him in second unless another runner can do better! Nick Brookes, ladies and gentlemen."

Julia pushed and shoved through the wild crowd when the tournament was finally over. Nick had been awarded a trophy for second place, and awaited Julia at the bottom of the stands. When she reached him she gathered him into her arms, feeling so proud of him. "Wow, look at you!" she exclaimed, "You're moving up, next time I bet you could make first!"

He smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "Come on, let's go out for lunch, my treat." Julia shook her head and smiled, if anything, she should be the one paying for him. But, she knew he would object and didn't want to bother. As far as Nick was concerned, he was the one who paid for meals; or at least most of the time. Sometimes Julia surprised him.

"You did great out there, Nick, you really did," Julia said when they reached his car.

"I could have done better," was all his reply. Julia wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but she could have sworn she detected a bit of disappointment in his voice and the sound of failure.

"Nick," she whispered and reached for his hand. She was surprised when he jerked it away from her and began to fumble with the keys of his car. "It's not your fault," she finally said when the car geared to life and once more tried to reach out to him.

"Yeah," he mumbled and then gave her a forced smile. "Come on, let's just forget about it. I'd rather spend time with you and just drop the stupid race, alright?" Julia bit her lower and nodded.

She didn't really want to just forget about it, and she wanted to let him know that it wasn't a stupid race in her eyes. That even though he had a slight handicap that held him back from his full limit that he was still great; Still one of the best.

Nick took her hand in his and smiled, this time. "Want to go down to the lake?" he questioned. Julia didn't need to hear him say it, but she knew he felt he needed to be there.

"Sure."

The car rumbled to a stop when they reached the lake. "Julia," Nick said quietly, "I want to take you out on that boat tonight, is that alright with you?"

Julia glanced at him. His shirt was half way unbuttoned, from the heat of the race, and his hair was disheveled. Something was wrong. She couldn't quite pin point it, but something definitely was not right with him. All day he wasn't himself, and now he was full out screaming inside out and Julia was hearing him.

She was about to answer him when his head jerked up and his eyes hit her with so much force, she was sure her heart had stopped. "Please."

That one word, that one single word hit harder then anything she thought possible. His voice was a sheer plea and his eyes were showing need and longing--- but not for her. He was begging for her presence, that was more then obvious, but there was more. She felt it in her heart, and she trembled.

"I'll be there."

:later:

The night was beautiful, nearly as perfect as that night they had first shared together on their first date. Everything was nearly wonderful, the scenery, the light breeze that felt refreshing, but Nick was acting worse.

He was acting so out of character, it was beginning to scare Julia more then she was willing to admit. Nick seemed more flustered and uncomfortable, repeating simple gestures with shaky hands that didn't seem to know what they were doing.

And he hadn't kissed her in over a week, and only touched her when given necessary. It hurt. It hurt more then anything she had ever felt. What seemed to be the real pain, however, was that she didn't know why. He just suddenly pulled away. One day he was there and being the amazing man she loved, and then the next—he was gone.

"Nick?" she whispered once they were sitting out on the lake, the gentle rocking of the boat seeming to calm down his nerves. He looked up at her and then back down again, holding his hands together and toying uncertainly with the ring she had given him just under a year ago.

He didn't answer. "Nick, please," Julia pleaded, reaching out for his hands. He pulled them away from hers and brought his eyes up to hers again.

Before he even spoke Julia knew what he was going to say. She didn't want to hear it, didn't want to accept it. Her heart nearly stopped beating as those words reached past her ears and into her heart—deep into her heart.

"Julia, I'm sorry—I," he paused, slipped off the ring that had been there with promise for that wonderful year and handed it to her. "It's over."

She wanted to die.


	2. Nightmare

_Sounds from hospital machines filled the air, as nurses and doctors bustled in and out of the emergency room. "Quick," he heard Landon's voice from somewhere, "We need to treat this fast!" More worried and concerned voices filled the background as all of the medical help tried their very best to save his life. He was dying. The lupus had gone out of control and his blood cells were attacking one another instead of the disease it should have been focusing on. _

_The room grew blurry as the figures in the emergency room began to fade, their voices growing farther and farther away. Peacefulness was next, where only the sound of a running river met his ears; the calming hum of the water becoming extremely familiar. _

_"Nick?" _

_His focus shifted and suddenly he could see a figure approaching him. At first he couldn't make out who it was, but as soon as she was close enough, he recognized her immediately. _

_"Nick?" Julia said again, her eyes shining into his. _

_"Oh! Julia! I thought—for a brief moment I thought I was dying!" He closed the distance between them and held her in his arms. The warmth and comfort of her so close to him made him grasp her harder toward him. "I love you, Julia. Please don't ever leave me."_

_The vision shifted and suddenly he was on his school's football field with the track all set up for him to run. Julia was still in his arms except this time he heard himself echo the same words he had said a moment before. "I love you, Julia. Please don't ever leave me."_

_She held him closer and whispered, "A promise is a promise." _

_The world changed around him again and the sound of hospital equipment and frantic nurses filled his ears once more. Only now he wasn't in the emergency room anymore, he was moving. The bed he lay on was moving. They were moving him! _

_"Nick!" Julia's voice screamed out from somewhere. Nick tried to lift himself to see where she was, but the nurses pushing the bed saw his attempt and held his weak body down against the pillows. _

_"Nick!" He heard Julia again, this time sounding a bit more distanced._

_"Julia!" he called back, fighting the nurses strong grip. "No—please, you don't understand! That's my girlfriend! Let me see her--," the nurses didn't listen. "No! Stop, damn it!" He fought to see just a bit of her as she was chasing after him. "Julia!" he cried out, "I love you!"_

_She didn't respond but kept on running as if nothing had reached her ears. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes were filled with a pain that he had never seen before. "Julia," his voice came out broken. That one word, her precious beautiful name, sounded so achingly heartbroken. _

_Suddenly the bed came to a harsh stop, somewhere in a dim cold room. "Please," he heard Julia beg to the nurses, "Please, let me see him just one last time." Her voice was pleading and it hurt for him to hear her so desperate. _

_"I'm sorry, but there are no civilians allowed in here. You can attend his funeral. That will be your good bye." The nurse sounded so stiff; as if she had said this so many times she couldn't feel any more emotional attachment to anything. _

_"Please," he heard Julia whisper again in a dark, lost voice, "I love him. I want to see him one last time. I won't be here for the funeral." _

_The nurse gave a harsh sigh before finally agreeing. "Five minutes. I'll be back for you then."_

_Sound of footsteps became distanced, revealing Julia's only presence in the room. "Oh, Nick." Those two words, those two very simple words, were the ones that broke his heart in a way he had never expected, nor ever wanted to feel. It was so agonizing hearing the pain in her voice, and as soon as he saw her face he wished there were some way to make his dead body hold her. But he couldn't._

_"Julia," he whispered, "I love you. I never meant to hurt you." His apology never reached her ears. She just sat on the bed staring at him, her eyes a whirl pool of darkness that had engulfed the never ending light in her eyes. Killing her heart and leaving it to die. _

_"Why did you leave me?" she whispered, her tears resurrecting in her eyes as she stared into his. "Why did you have to leave me to face this world by myself? I can't do this Nick. I can't. Life is nothing without you in my life." Her voice had suddenly lost its lovely carefree sound and replaced it with a rough, raspy noise instead. "You left me. You left me, Nick. How can I ever forgive you? How can I ever live another day, without you by my side?" _

_Her soft, delicate hands slid over his cold, rough ones. "Five minutes, Ms. Carter. It's time for you to say good bye." _

_Taking a deep, shaky breath, Julia let her free hand caress his face. Nick closed his eyes and remembered the warmth of her touch. The feathery touch of heaven that would always be with him forever. "I love you." She said simply before slowly kissing him on the cheek and walking quietly out of the room. With silent tears that would never leave her eyes. _

The sound of a shrill alarm shook him from his nightmare as he sat up immediately in bed. Sweat dripped down the front of his face as he sat, reliving the horrific dream for the twentieth time now. The pain in Julia's eyes in every one of his nightmares was unmistakably always there, watching him. Haunting him.

"Oh, shit." He muttered, wiping his hand over his eyes. He was sick and tired of that dream that had ceased to follow him and take him on the journey of restless nights of terror after terror.

"Nick!" His mother's voice called from just outside his door, "You have a doctor's appointment in an hour."

_Just what I need right now_, he thought with a chill that ran up his spine, _the last thing I need right now is to see a doctor that in my nightmares let me die._ Nick rolled over in his bed and slowly brought himself to his feet, "Yeah, I know."

"Alright, and Julia called."

His heart raced immediately at the sound of her name, and thought for a moment maybe he could take everything he said to her back.

"She said all she wanted was to let you know she didn't need a ride to church anymore."

His heart dropped again. _No, _he thought, _I need to protect her. I have to be strong about this so she can move on without me._

A/N: Sorry it's short. The next one will be longer.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey everyone.. sorry it's taken me so long to actually start up on this story again. I know it's been 2 years since I've started it, but I was hitting the worst writers block ever imaginable. I wish I could show all the different versions of this chapter I had started but never finished. Anyways, I hope there's still some interest in this story and you like my new chapter. Thanks

It was painfully quiet in the small hospital room where Nick waited for Landon to do his monthly check up. The silence was almost unbearable and the time it took for him to wait for Dr. Carter to come didn't make anything any easier. The quiet room forced him to do something, and thinking was on the many things he knew he could do, but feared it.

Julia always found a way to reappear in his mind, whether it is a memory they had shared together, or the fleeting images that still lingered from the night before. _Those sad eyes—reflecting her pain; her pain I caused._ Nick shook his head and forced himself to let the nightmare leave him. It was too much.

As if breaking up with her wasn't enough pain he had to live through, but now he had the continuation of her memory and that damned nightmare to deal with as well.

"Well, Nick," Dr. Landon said, closing the door behind him. Nick jolted, he hadn't heard him come in. "From what I have heard, you haven't been doing very well?" It was less of a question, and Nick knew it, he just felt he needed to answer.

"Yes, sir," he murmured.

"According to your mom, you have been isolating yourself in your room a lot, and seem less motivated?"

"Yes," Nick said again, letting his eyes focus on the hospital floor.

"Care to talk about it?" Now, had it been anyone else, Nick may have considered sharing what was really on his mind. But as it was, he knew he couldn't. Landon was a good man, and an even better father. If Nick told him his explanation, he knew Landon would undoubtedly tell Julia, and then his entire plan to save her from pain would fail.

"There's really nothing to talk about."

Landon eyed him a while before nodding and moving over to the cupboard to retrieve the tool he'd use to check Nick's blood pressure. If he didn't want to talk, Landon wasn't going to bother making him.

* * *

Julia walked silently into the crowded stands, feeling the chill of the fall wind blowing softly against her face. She knew Nick was racing, and wasn't about to miss it for anything. Cassie had tried to talk her out of going, telling her that Julia just needed to let him go and move on. But that was exactly what Julia couldn't do! Nick had been everything to her, and she still lied awake at night trying to figure out why he had ended what she had thought was so perfect between them.

The cry of the crowd echoed endlessly in her head, making her seem rather far away from the entire event. She found an empty seat somewhere at the top of the stands in the center of the crowd, but did not take a seat. Most of those around her were standing as well and watching the race with anticipation. Julia, however, was searching the benches where the runners were waiting, and felt a tug on her heart when Nick was warming up to be next, along with another participant.

"Oh, Nick," she whispered, watching him.

"Next up, ladies and gentlemen, is Nick Brookes and Trent Hoag!" The announcer said, and the crowd gave a loud cheer as the two runners stood in place. As usual, Julia felt fear rising in her blood as Nick took off at the starting horn.

As she watched, Julia suddenly began to wonder why she was there. Why she was still watching him in fear something would go wrong. He broke up with her, he was no longer part of her life—and yet, she _had_ to make sure he was alright. She would never live with herself if he fell in the middle of a race yet again, and she was not there when he needed her most.

"Nick's ahead! Almost to the finish line with Trent close behind! It'll be a close one folks. Will Nick take the prize--," The announcer was swallowed by the sound of gasps and screams from the stands when Nick suddenly grasped his chest and fell motionlessly into the track dirt.

Julia suppressed a scream, and without thinking shoved her way through the panicking crowd and nearly fell down the stares from her blind pace. She hopped the fence around the track and ran to Nick's side, only to be shoved away by a paramedic on duty. "Stay out of the way," the woman said harshly and then began speaking into a radio. "We need an ambulance now."

"Nick," Julia turned away and held her hand to her mouth, already sobbing in fear and felt bile rise in her throat. Her stomach knotted together, and she felt like her entire world was collapsing around her.

"Ma'am?" one of the paramedics said, grasping her shoulders, as she slowly began sinking to the ground. She could scarcely comprehend what was being said, and all sounds and vision started to fade away into the distance. "Ma'am, are you alright?" The paramedic, helped lay her down, just as Julia fell into oblivion.

* * *

Landon rushed into the hospital on call, knowing he had to attend Nick before he could see his daughter—but damn it, he needed to be with Julia!

"Is there any other specialized Doctor on call?" Landon asked one of his nurses that trailed behind, as he headed toward the emergency room where Nick lay unconscious and in a very critical condition.

"No, Dr. Carter," the nurse replied, handing him Nick's folder with all his medical history inside. "I'm sorry--,"

"Well, sorry isn't good enough!" Landon snapped, taking the folder she handed him. "I need to be with my daughter right now! Where's Dr. Taylor?"

"On vacation with his family--,"

"Damn it!" Landon whipped away from the nurse in fury, but after a few steps, slowed down, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he turned around to face the nurse, who looked upset and hurt, "That was out of line. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

The nurse, closed her eyes and swallowed hard before looking up at him. "It doesn't matter. You're on call Dr. Carter. Nick Brookes needs your assistance now." Without another word, she turned and headed back down the hall, leaving Landon to stare after her.

After only a few seconds, he sighed and headed into the emergency room, finding Nick lying unconscious. "Alright," Landon said to the surrounding nurses, "Let's find out what the disease is attacking today."

* * *

After an hour of treating Nick, and getting him stabilized, Landon hastened to Julia's room and let out a long breath when he saw that she wasn't hurt or in any critical condition--Though she was still unconscious.

"Dr. Carter?" the nurse from earlier poked her head into the room.

Landon glanced down at the petite lady, and for the first time actually looked at her, and read her name tag that was clipped to her scrubs for the first time. Her name was Amber Starling. "Yes?" He said glancing away from her and over to his daughter.

"I just thought you should know, she only fainted, and there's nothing wrong with her otherwise."

Landon still felt a tight lurch in his chest as he stared at her unconscious daughter lying on the hospital bed. She looked so much like Jamie, and seeing her hooked up to machines and unconscious made him suddenly and irrationally terrified of losing her. "That's--," Landon swallowed back a fear only a father could feel, "That's good--," he glanced down at Amber, "Thank you."

Amber gave a warm smile, and squeezed his shoulder in a gesture of kindness, "She'll be fine."

When Amber slipped quietly out of the room, Landon pulled over a chair to Julia's bed side, and absently ran his hand across her cheek and then down her hair. "Julia, honey," he whispered, needing more than anything to see some sign that told him she was going to be alright. When she didn't respond, he squeezed her hand with his other hand, and continued to stroke her hair. "Wake up. Honey, can you hear me?"

Julia stirred a little, but not much and mumbled something incoherent under her breath. "Julia--," Landon leaned closer and kissed her forehead. "Please wake up."

"Dad?" Julia mumbled, squinting up at him, her eyes dazed with confusion. She began to look around the room, "Where am I?"

"Oh thank God," Landon breathed and kissed her forehead again. "You're in the hospital, but you're going to be okay." And almost needing to reassure himself, he whispered, "You're going to be alright."

"The hospital?" Julia whispered, feeling confused and lost, as if she were walking in the middle of a deep fog that she could barely see through. "Why am I --," Her eyes suddenly widened, as the fog lifted and reality hit home, and struck hard. "Nick!"

Without waiting for an answer, she sat up and tried to push herself out of bed, and when Landon kept her from going she began to struggle and fight him frantically. "No! Let me go! I need to be with him! Let me go!"

"Julia, calm down. Honey, calm down! He's fine, just calm down!" It took a lot of his strength just to keep her there, because she was fighting and struggling against him so wildly.

"No, I need to be with him!" she screamed, hitting at his chest and shoulders, until finally she slumped against him, hot tears streaming her face as she fell against her father in defeat. "I need to be with him," she murmured through her tears. "I love him."

"I know," he whispered, holding her in a tight embrace, "I know."

And it was in that instant, Landon felt hatred so strong directed toward Nick, but at the same time respected what he was trying to do. He knew Nick thought he was making the right decision, just as Jamie had when she tried running away. And it was then and there, while Julie cried helplessly in his arms, that he decided he and Nick were going to have a little talk.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: _Hey everyone. Well, I just thought I'd warn you, this is kind of an intense chapter. I hope you all like it!

_

* * *

__Running, he was running! Free of any physical handicap he had. Nick felt stronger and better, and suddenly, invincible. I'm free! He thought triumphantly, until the vision of a running track came in view and he heard distant cheering. I'm racing? He looked to his left and saw Trent Hoag, one of his rivals catching up. _

_No__! I need to win—I have to win! He sprints ahead for a second, that feeling of being free overwhelming all his sense—and then. _

_Pain sears through his chest, he grasped it, his vision suddenly whirring out of focus as he hits the track dirt. I can't breathe! He thinks panicking. And all he can hear is the steady sound of h__is heart beat, thumping wildly in his chest_

_Paramedics come, and begin to put an oxygen mask on him, when his eyes somehow focus on someone standing nearby. Tears and pain reflecting in her eyes, as she collapses nearby, and it took Nick a few moments to realize who he was looking at. _

_Oh my God--- _

"Julia!" Nick sprung up to a sitting position, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt sweat gathering on his forehead and he was completely out of breath. He put his head in his hands, "Shit."

"Nick--," Landon came into the room when he found Nick was awake, and not looking so good. "Are you alright?"

Nick nodded absently, bringing his hands away from his eyes, staring at how shaky his hands were. "Yeah," he said quietly. And then, as reality started to come back, and he realized Dr. Carter was there and he was in the hospital, the dream came rushing back. But it wasn't a dream…

"Julia!" Nick looked up to Landon, "She was there, wasn't she?"

Landon nodded and sighed, "Yeah, Nick, she was there."

"She fell down," Nick whispered, trying to remember that dream again. "She fell—is she alright?"

Landon pulled up a rolling chair over to Nick's bed and took a seat, "She's fine."

"Is she here?" Nick asked, looking passed Landon and out the door to his room, but he couldn't see Julia at all. And, for once, Nick wasn't sure if that was truly what he wanted anymore.

"No, she left earlier this morning."

"Oh—right," Nick murmured, feeling heavy disappointment begin to settle.

Landon sighed, and leaned back in the chair, "If you think she just left without seeing you, you're worse off than I thought you were."

"What?" Nick asked, trying to clear his mind through the cobwebs of sleep, "She came to see me?" Nick asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Landon shook his head, "I couldn't change her mind, and as soon as she was released she came straight into your room." Landon glanced up at Nick, "That was yesterday evening, she sat with you all night; I only made her leave so she could get some rest on her own."

Nick nodded, and lied back down on the bed, having a whir of thoughts going through his head.

"I think it's time you and I had a talk," Landon said, breaking the silence and interrupting Nick's thoughts.

"Talk? What about?"

"You know," Landon said, "But if you need any help on the topic, let me give you a clue—my daughter."

"Oh," Nick said, looking away, "What's there to talk about?"

Landon became quiet, and just watched Nick for a few moments, before he finally whispered, "Why are you doing this?"

Nick broke his eyes from Landon and shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about--,"

"Like hell you don't!" Landon snapped, cutting in on Nick's lie, "Here, let's simplify this for you. Why are you running away from Julia?"

"I'm—I'm not," Nick stuttered, feeling cornered.

"Bullshit," Landon whispered.

"You can't talk to me like this," Nick retorted, "You're my doctor!"

"No, not right now, I'm not," Landon said, shaking his head, "I'm off duty. Right now I'm talking to you one on one, as Julia's father."

Nick didn't say anything at first, and Landon didn't push for an answer. He just sat quietly waiting, probing Nick with his intense gaze.

"This isn't right," Nick whispered, shaking his head in anger. "You're supposed to understand!"

"What?" Landon challenged, "What am I'm supposed to understand, Nick? That you're hurting my daughter on good intentions?"

The air grew thick with silence, and all Nick could do was shake his head and fight off the emotions that were warring inside him. Anger, helplessness—and _love_ he could no longer have. "You don't understand," he finally whispered, fighting off the tears that were burning at the back of his eyes. But he didn't dare cry.

"Really? I don't understand?" Landon said, still angry. "Try me."

Nick was quiet for a long moment, glaring across the room at nothing, wishing he could be anywhere but here. He couldn't tell Landon the truth. If he did, Landon would disagree and tell Julia, and he couldn't face her after that…

"I don't--," Nick began, hating himself more than anything for saying the words he needed to say, "I don't—love her."

"Christ," Landon muttered, dragging his hand through his hair, "Nick, I know you don't mean that."

"Don't pretend you know me, alright?" Nick shot back, "Just because you're my Doctor, does _not_ mean you know, from jack shit."

"You dated my daughter for two years! And then you get that one piece of news from me, and you end it," Landon said through gritted teeth, "I think that tells me everything I need to know!"

"No," Nick whispered, looking up at Landon, "You're just seeing what you want to."

"Damn it! Don't be like that," Landon whispered, "We both know why you're doing this. I don't care how much you're denying it, I can see right through you--"

"Dad?" Julia cut him off, stepping into the room. "What's going on?"

For a moment all Nick could do was stare up at Julia. She looked so beautiful, and for a moment he wished she could be his again.

"Nothing," Landon whispered, giving Nick a hard look before bringing himself to his feet. "I'll see you at home, honey," he said, kissing Julia on the forehead before quietly slipping out of the room.

Julia watched her dad leave, and then awkwardly turned to face Nick. "I'm glad to see you're awake," she finally whispered, giving a small smile. "Oh, Nick. I was so worried about you." She took a seat where her father had been and reached out for his hand, but Nick jerked away before she could.

"Yeah, well, I'm fine," Nick replied shortly.

Julia wanted to cry when he denied her touch, and purposely looked away from him so he couldn't see the first tear slip down her face. Quickly she wiped her eyes with her hands, and looked back over to him. "That's good, I'm so happy to hear it."

"Yeah," was all Nick said in reply.

Awkwardness slipped through the air like poison, and Julia couldn't help but wonder how it had come down to this. Only a month ago, they were so happy together, and now—

"Okay… well, I love you," she tried again, "I just—wanted you to know."

"Okay," Nick said simply, "You can leave now." It took all of Nick's will power to keep himself for reaching out to her at that moment, when the first of many tears began to burn down her face."

Julia nodded in disbelief and pain as she slowly stood up and began back away from Nick, "I'll just go ahead –and—and leave then."

"Okay," Nick said, feeling terrible for being the cause of the tears that fell down her face.

"Goodbye," she just barely managed before turning and running out of the room. She only barely made it to one of the waiting chairs out front before she fell to her knees and broke down in tears.


	5. Chapter 5

The silence in Landon's office left him in thought; all his anger toward Nick still consistent. He couldn't even focus on specific office work without his mind leading back to his and Nick's last conversation. Or worse, Julia's reaction when she left the room and collapsed outside.

Though Julia hadn't told him what exactly Nick had said to her—all the possibilities just sent up Landon's anger even higher. How was a father supposed to deal with being caught in the middle of this painful drama that was affecting his daughter to the point of severe depression?

"Dr. Carter?" Amber, the new nurse on call, said, leaning into Landon's office a bit.

As if coming out of a deep trance, Landon gathered himself from his thoughts, and glanced up at Amber. For an instant, he felt a bit of light touch him somewhere inside the vacant halls of his heart, as his eyes connected with Amber's warm smile. "Yes?" he managed, and swiveled his chair to face her.

"Sorry to bother you," Amber said, "I was just wondering if you were interested in having lunch with me today?" The young nurse didn't look the least bit flustered about asking this, and immediately Landon was intrigued. He was one of the top Doctors, and very few colleagues that were below him ever approached him, and if they did, it was for formal matters only.

Landon leaned back a little bit in his chair and studied Amber a moment, who just stood straighter from the casual scrutiny. She looked so delicate and small, which gave her the impression of still being a young teen maybe, and made her look frail to the touch. She had a nice figure, as well, but the thing about her that he was drawn to the most, was that warm, friendly smile. "It would be nice to have company for once," Landon muttered quietly, and then glanced back up at Amber. "Is twelve-thirty alright for you?"

Amber took a step out of his office and smiled, "Sounds good, see you then." And then she slipped away casually.

Landon leaned back in his chair again, and for a moment let that beautiful warm feeling that had awakened something in his heart settle there, before opening up his medical work, and finally getting started.

* * *

Amber's eyes were a beautiful dark blue that looked almost violet in different shades of light, and always seemed to hold a silent secret that only she was privy too. She entranced him, and he wasn't quite sure what had caused such an attraction, but he enjoyed listening to her talk, and was fascinated by everything she said.

The only thing that felt a little off center, was trying to find her real motive for wanting to share lunch with him. And observing her casually while they ate and talked didn't seem to be giving him any clues, and yet—he knew there was more to this then what appeared at face value.

"So tell me Amber," Landon said, "why did you really want to have lunch with me?" Landon casually took a bite from his salad, and patiently waited. To his surprise, Amber's eyes only lit up in silent humor instead of surprise to his question.

"I've been waiting for you to ask me that," Amber said with a ghost of a smile forming on her lips, "I just wanted to talk to you about your patient—and your daughter."

Landon's eyes narrowed a bit in Amber's direction, but he didn't change his casual demeanor—yet. "Alright, Ms. Vasquez you have my attention."

"Amber," she said, "Please don't address me formally." She sighed and placed her napkin in her lap and took a deep breath. "I know I am new to this hospital, but I know all about you and your wife, Jamie. I mean, you can't work there long, let alone live in this city, without knowing about the special love you and her found together."

Landon's eyes softened, but he didn't want to talk about Jamie, not now. Not when he was just beginning to feel, for some insane reason, attracted to the woman sitting across from him, and immediate guilt started to set in. "Go on," Landon said quietly, trying to fight back the emotions that were rubbing raw against his heart.

The air between them suddenly changed and heaviness settled between them, taking away any hint of a smile in Amber's features. "Landon, I know you want what's best for Julia, and I know it's hard for you to watch her go through pain like this—especially because you're her father and want to protect her."

"Of course I want to protect her," Landon said, locking eyes with hers, "What's your point?"

"My point is, that maybe, she and Nick aren't meant for one another--,"

Landon's eyes narrowed more, "You talked me into having lunch with me, just to tell me that?"

Amber's face looked agonized, "Landon, please—I am just saying just because you and Jamie had this beautiful but forbidden love, doesn't mean Julia has that same fate. You need to let her live and learn--,"

Landon pulled out his wallet and took out a twenty and dropped it on the table, "I've heard enough, thanks for the lunch."

"Landon—if you promote the idea that she and Nick should be together, it will only make her pain worse on her--," Amber tried desperately, but she could see that Landon had officially closed her off.

"Just stop, Ms. Vasquez. I will not sit and listen to you telling me I am a horrible father." Landon's eyes were on fire, but his features were a calm contradiction. "Have a good day," he said and was gone before Amber could have said another word.

* * *

Nick sat on the hospital bed unmoving, eyes focused on the TV screen, but not really seeing it at all. His mind was so flooded with guilt and confusion, he didn't quite know what to think or feel.

"Hey Nick," Amber said, walking into his room, "You feeling alright?" She immediately started checking the machines for his heart rate and then went to feel his pulse.

"I'm feeling great," Nick said sarcastically, "Being hooked up to tubes and machines is a great past time."

Amber didn't waver on her task for his pulse but shook her head in disapproval. "Don't be like that. In a couple of days you'll be a free man to walk out of here," Amber unlocked a cabinet and pulled out his medication, "How does that sound?"

Nick just gave an apathetic shrug but didn't answer.

"You know," Amber said, "I think you should definitely take up Dr. Carter's offer to switch to the other specialist."

"I am," Nick said without missing a beat, "It's the only choice I have."

"Well," she handed him his cup of water and his pills, "It's not the only choice, but it's definitely a chance worth taking, if you ask me."

"Yeah," Nick said, swallowing his pills.

Amber saw the look of disconcerting flash quickly through his eyes. "Nick, are you scared of making that choice?"

She watched him carefully for any response, but Nick just quietly shook his head and dropped his eyes in thought. When he looked back up at her he said quietly, "No, not for me."

Amber looked at him quizzically and took a seat on the edge of his hospital bed, "If not for you, what are you scared of?"

Nick glanced down at his hands, and decided if he should answer honestly or not. He glanced at Amber, who had this calm, friendly vibe that was tugging on his heart to open up, and share how he truly felt. "Just, others I care for, I guess," he said quietly, "I don't want them getting hurt if something goes wrong."

"Oh, Nick," Amber breathed, and then gave a gentle smile, "Everything will come together. I promise."

"You promise?" Nick weakly retorted, "Your just my nurse, how can you promise something like that?"

"Because everything does always work out in the end. You just need to have a little more faith." Without another word, Amber squeezed Nick's hand and left his room, leaving Nick to ponder and seriously consider her words.

A/N: hey everyone! I'm sorry I didnt update right away, I had another evil writers block. (damn those writing blocks!! haha).. Anyways, Please tell me what you think of this so far, I'd love to know if you all like it )


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey everyone!! First off I just wanted to thank everyone who has read this story and reviewed it! I really hope everyone is enjoying it so far. Well, once again I seem to have come to a writer's block, and its beginning to frustrate me because I really like this story. So, I came up with an idea. I want to see what you would all like to see happen. So if anyone has any ideas I for a certain direction I can take for this story, it would help me a lot. Thanks everyone! And I'll try and get another chapter out as soon as I can.


	7. Broken Hearts

A/N: Hey everyone. I am so sorry it has taken me this long to continue this story. A lot has happened in the last 2 ½ years and I stopped writing anything for a long time. But I was checking out my old account and found not only this story but all of you who were so patiently waiting for an update!

So I'm not sure if you guys still want to keep reading. But I am going to commit to updating a new chapter every two weeks or at least once a month from now on. So I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! I am back guys, for sure this time.

* * *

It was well passed midnight and Julia was still up working on her English homework. College had always been a breeze for her since academics had always been one of her strengths, but ever since Nick broke up with her even the easiest of homework felt like a huge burden. All she had to write was a four page paper on a book her class was reading but it could have been a ten page paper at the rate she was moving.

It had been a month since she last spoke to Nick and while she was finally finding more momentum to move on with her life it was still so incredibly hard. The biggest thing she hated was she didn't knowing _why_ he had broken up with her.

Was she being overbearing? Was there someone else? Did he suddenly not love her anymore?

She knew if she ever wanted to completely move on she would need the answers to those questions. But she also didn't want to face Nick either. Not after how cold he had been towards her in the hospital room.

Part of her was also scolding herself for _ever_ opening up her heart to begin with. Hadn't she known at 18 that love wasn't worth? Hadn't she learned enough from her father about that? And yet here she was at 20, almost 21 and facing the very consequences she wanted to protect herself from to begin with.

Her cell phone began to vibrate from her dresser across the room and while Julia wasn't in the mood to talk on the phone she still answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey girl, it's like 1 in the morning I can't believe your awake," the sound of Cassie's voice was a relief.

Julia walked over to her bed and sank into her pillows. "Would you believe me if I said I was out partying?"

Cassie laughed on the other end. "_No way!_ Knowing you, you're probably up doing homework. _So_ boring."

Julia felt something twinge in her chest. Is that why Nick left her?

"Relax, girl, I'm just teasing you," Cassie said after a long period of silence.

Julia shoved the feelings aside, "I know. So what are you doing up?"

Cassie was silent a long moment. "Something really excited just happened… but I don't want to tell you over the phone. What a mood-killer! Can we meet up for lunch tomorrow?"

Julia pulled out her planner and saw she had tutoring on her lunch between classes. "I have tutoring…" she said hesitantly.

Cassie sighed impatiently on the other end, "Julia, you're a genius! You don't even need tutoring! Can you just skip out this once? This is so important to me!"

Julia took the pen that was clasped on the inside and scratched out tutoring on her planner. "Alright, but if I fail my next test you owe me!" Julia teased.

"Oh please, like you've _ever_ failed a test before," Cassie retorted. "So what time is your lunch?"

Julia grew quiet a moment. She did fail a test before. Actually over the last month she became a serial testing failure. The unexpected breakup threw her into such a whirlwind of depression, even her teachers were asking her if she was okay. Failing tests were so out of character for her.

"Around 1 and I have two hours."

"Oh no way! Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me you have a tutor for two hours straight? That is it! This weekend you are coming out and going to a party with me!"

"Cassie, I'm fine--," Julia tried to say, but her friend quickly cut her off.

"No, you're not! Ever since Nick left you've been cooped up in your room just doing school work! Trying to use that as an excuse not to get out and move on with your life! Julia, I love you! I have been your best friend since before I stopped wetting the bed. That is some real history!"

Julia couldn't help but laugh. Remembering how her father had made the two sleep on the floor during sleepovers until Cassie finally rid herself of bedwetting. To this day Cassie had no idea that he slipped a trash back underneath her sleeping bag to insure nothing stained the carpet.

"I'm serious! You need to get out and have fun. Nick is a loser! If he can so easily shut you out of his life then you deserve a man that will actually be there for you! And I know you know that too. Now do not make me lecture you more, Julia, your coming out with me this weekend whether you like it or not!"

Julia lied down on her stomach and hugged one of her pillows and sighed. "Fine, you got me. I'll go out with you this weekend. And I will see you at 1 tomorrow."

"Perfect! See you then! And go to bed already!"

Julia smiled, "You too! Good night."

* * *

Nick was lying awake in bed well passed midnight unable to sleep. The trial drug treatment was starting early the next morning and while he felt excitement, he also felt fear. It was only a trial after all. So he didn't even know if she was going to get the real treatment or a placebo. He also was aware of all the different side effects that so far had been discovered and he knew he was just another guinea pig to find out if there were anymore.

But from what Dr. Redlands had said, this treatment seemed like a real step in the right direction towards a cure; and if not a cure then at the very least a longer life-span.

As far as Nick was concerned, Dr. Redlands wasn't nearly as compassionate or friendly as Dr. Carter. But from what he'd heard at least Dr. Redlands was good at what he did. While Dr. Carter was good too, Redland's specialty was specifically with Lupus, whereas Dr. Carter's experience was very broad and not solely focused on one thing.

As Nick lied there, staring up at his ceiling his thoughts drifted to Julia. If all went well with the drug treatment he intended on trying to talk to her again and explaining why he pulled away. But if he were to get a bad side-effect or if the cure didn't work he really didn't want to put her through constant worry. She deserved true happiness, not a happy-ever-after with an expiration date.

That was exactly how he was being to feel, like he was walking around with an expiration date stamped onto his forehead. And while the numbers weren't clear and while his death might not even come until he is old like normal people, he still felt it as a constant dark cloud looming over his shoulder. He knew that every time he dropped and was sent to the hospital could very be his last chance.

And that nightmare of Julia running after his dead body and of her blaming him for dying and leaving her to live life alone hasn't stopped. A reminder as to why exactly he had to put a good amount of distance between them. He knew she was taking the pain really hard but if she could hate him it would be easier to move on.

Rolling onto his side, he stared at the bedside picture of the two of them. For Valentines day earlier that year he had surprised her and took her to a professional photographer. He loved the picture of the two of them that had been taken that day. They were so in love and they were both so happy.

But that was before he got the news of this treatment, before he started having the nightmare, everything had just changed. And his job now was to protect Julia and face life with this disease alone.


	8. Life Changes

Class the next morning seemed to tick by slowly as Julia awaited it to be over. She couldn't remember the last time she and Cassie had gotten together for lunch and really needed her best friend now. Cassie was right after all, Julia really needed to move on with her life and let Nick go.

Just the thought tightened her chest but the pain was a little bit more bearable now that a month had gone by. But still, Julia knew the pain would take awhile to fade away.

Julia heard her phone buzz from inside her purse and after glancing at the teacher she pulled her purse into her lap and checked out her phone.

**Text Message from: Cassie**

_Hey girl! We're still on for lunch in an hour right?_

Julia again gave the teacher a quick look before quietly replying: _Yes! Where do you want to meet? _Her phone vibrated about a minute later.

**Text Message from: Cassie**

_I'll pick you up! Be in the front of the school at 1! See you there!_

Julia started to reply.

"Julia Carter, why are you texting in my class room?"

Julia suddenly looked up from her phone and found not only her teacher, Mrs. Jordan but the entire class looking at her. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Jordan… It was really important." Mrs. Jordan only raised her eyebrows in question. "It won't happen again, I promise."

"Miss Carter, you are aware that you don't need to be here, correct?" Mrs. Jordan said, beginning to walk down the isle toward her. "This is college, young lady, and I can drop you any time I want to."

Julia's eyes shifted from the floor to her teacher. "I understand, Mrs. Jordan. It won't happen again."

Mrs. Jordan stood a few feet away and for a moment just stared Julia down; but she finally turned on her heel and walked back to the front of the classroom. "Well, Ms. Carter, while I have your attention let me ask you a question about the book we are reading. I trust you have been keeping up with your reading assignments?"

"Yes, I have," Julia said, feeling a little bit more confident and slid her purse back down to the floor.

"Good," Mrs. Jordan replied and picked up the book in question called "The Road," by Cormac Mccarthy. "Well what do you make of the boys' and the fathers' relationship?"

Julia took a moment to gather her bearings and was very well aware she has had everyone's attention for the last five minutes. "I think the relationship is a beautiful contrast to the world they have to endure," she said. "The father is trying to protect the boy not only from the dangers but he is also trying to keep his innocence and I find the entire concept entrancing."

After she started to get more involved with the class, the hour flew by fairly quickly. And before Julia knew it the teacher put down her copy of the book and after going over their assignments, dismissed the class.

Julia grabbed her purse, books, and binder and left before the teacher could badger her anymore.

Seeing Cassie waiting in front of the school was one of the best things Julia had seen in awhile. She threw her things into the back of Cassie's car and ran around to hug her. "I missed you so much!"

"And yet you've been avoiding me," Cassie hugged her back, "Go figure."

"I know; can you ever forgive me?" Julia asked as she slid into the passenger seat.

Cassie threw her friend a sideways glance. "You're still going to the party this weekend, right?"

Julia sighed heavily in response and then sent Cassie a huge grin, "Of course!"

Cassie nodded at her and smiled, "Then yes, I forgive you."

* * *

Nick had been sitting in a public waiting room for well over two hours now and was getting annoyed with the sluggishness of the doctors. And being cooped up in a tiny room with other sick and injured patients was not his ideal way to spend his _entire_ day.

"Nick Brookes."

Nick's head swiveled upward at the sound of his name and he was surprised to see Amber, his old nurse standing in the doorway waiting for him.

"Hey stranger," she said with a smile, "Come on back."

He couldn't hide the small tug on his lips and secretly was happy to see a familiar face. Not to mention also being able to stretch his legs for the first time in hours. "Hi," he said when he followed her through the door, "I thought you worked for Dr. Carter?"

Amber's eyes shined with that glimmer in her eye he had yet to see her without. "I do—well, at least I report to him still, anyways. But I am in Dr. Redlands division."

Nick's confusion obviously showed on his face because Amber continued, "Dr. Carter and I had somewhat of a… disagreement. And apparently he couldn't handle seeing me everyday, so here I am."

Nick thought it was a little strange but didn't think it was any of his business. He shrugged his shoulders and just murmured, "Oh."

"Well, so you took my advice I see," she said and Nick noticed her expression became much more serious. "I am really glad to see you made this decision." She motioned for him to stand on a scale and noted down his weight. "Are you still scared?"

Nick managed a small grin, "Well I heard that sudden death could be a side effect."

"Oh you did not."

"Yeah, well that is just because no one has died yet. But isn't that the point of the trial?"

She rolled her eyes and showed him into the single waiting room. "All of your other vitals have been taken, Mr. Brookes. So the Dr. will see you shortly." Before she closed the door, however, she did say one last thing, "Good luck."

* * *

"Okay, okay," Julia said, laughing. "I get it! I'll rearrange my entire schedule because you obviously have to come first."

"Duh!" Cassie retorted.

"Here you go, ladies," their waiter placed both of their dishes on the table. "Anything else I can get for you?"

Julia asked for a refill on her coke but then turned all of her attention back on her friend. "So, what is the big exciting news you wanted to tell me?"

Cassie's eyes sifted for a moment down to her food and the air changed drastically. "I really want to tell you," she said quietly. "I am really excited and happy."

"What? What is it?" Julia reached out and grabbed her friend's hand. "Come on, Cassie, you can tell me anything."

Cassie slid her hand from Julia's and started to open up a small zipper pocket on her purse. Julia didn't even need to ask what was going on the moment she saw it. "Oh my…Oh my God, Cassie, is that for real?"

The diamond shimmered and reflected the afternoon sun that shined through the restaurant window. Cassie slid the ring on her left ring finger and for a moment she sat and admired it. "Yeah, Greg proposed last night."

"Cassie, I…," Julia felt a lot of emotions building inside of her chest. She was so happy for Cassie, so sad that her love life was failing, and then all at the same time felt like Greg had just stepped in and whisked her best friend away from her. "I am so happy for you," she finally said. "And look at that ring! Sweetie, it's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Cassie whispered and just stared at it for a long moment. "I couldn't believe it when he got down on his knee. I wasn't even expecting it but suddenly… there he was."

Julia reached out and squeezed Cassie's hand. "I never expected Greg to be the one," she said, "But if he makes you happy then I am happy for you too."

The delicate air shifted when Cassie let one of her grins pull at the corners of her lips. "You better be happy, girly, because you are going to be my Maid of Honor!"

Julia shoved her own mixed emotions aside and pushed herself out of her chair. "Come here!" She walked around the table and enveloped Cassie in a huge hug.

* * *

Landon pulled up outside of Dr. Redland's office and climbed out of his car. He wasn't quite sure what made him come here, off duty, with really no legitimate reason. But he didn't take time to question his motives and headed into the building.

He caught sight of Amber before he really even intended too, and she definitely noticed him. "Dr. Carter," she said and leaned against the counter she had been working on. "What brings you to this division?"

Landon stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked toward her, "Well considering you're the only one here who works for me."

"I see," Amber said, crossing her arms. "Well, I'm doing just fine. It's actually getting kind of cozy here."

Landon raised his eyebrows and gave the small work area a once over. One thing he definitely knew about Dr. Redlands was how cozy could never be described as his work atmosphere. He was a genius Doctor but he severely lacked in the emotional and cozy department. "Cozy, really."

"Well yeah," Amber said, "Anything is cozier then the iciness I felt back in your division after our last conversation." Before Landon could talk, she kept going, "I know professionally I can't say those things but," she gestured toward him, "You're obviously off duty, so I don't expect you to hold it against me."

"You're lucky I am a man of integrity," Landon said and a ghost of a smile played on his lips. "The truth is, I handled myself very poorly. I took our personal lunch and let it affect our professional relationship, and I have to say that was very poor judgment on my end."

Amber tilted her head and searched his eyes, "Are you apologizing?"

Landon dug his hands a little deeper in his jean pockets and looked away from her a moment and then looked back. "Yes, I guess I am. The truth is I've gotten a lot of complaints about you leaving; from both the staff and your regular patients. And it would be wrong of me not to ask you to come back."

"Okay," Amber said, uncrossing he arms. "Well, I'd love to come back then."

"Good," Landon nodded off toward the waiting room, "So I heard Nick had his drug trial today. How is he doing?"

"Oh, Nick is doing just fine. I wouldn't worry about him, if I were you." Checking the time, Amber realized her shift was up. "So does this mean I get to start tomorrow back at your office?"

"Yeah," Landon said, "Your old job will be waiting for you."

Amber peeled off the medical gloves she had been wearing and threw them in the nearest trash can, "Sounds good, see you tomorrow."

And that was it. But Landon couldn't help but watch her walk out of the room and admired her confidence and grace. Part of him really liked her and the other part was scared as hell.


	9. Finding Independence

It felt good, Julia realized, to get all dolled up for the first time since Nick left her. It was almost empowering, realizing that now she had the opportunity to attract other guys just by how she looked. Staring at her full length mirror, Julia studied herself carefully. Her long nut-brown hair was down and loose curls framed her face. She wore a blue top that was conservative and yet showed just a bit of cleavage and jeans that fit her form rather nicely.

For once Julia saw herself as a young woman. Not as a college bookworm she knew herself to be, but tonight, she was going to go out and have fun. She was nervous about the party and excited at the same time. Would she meet any guys that would show interest? Would she be able to socialize fluidly? Julia had to admit, she wasn't much of a social person. She was always somewhat shy and never quite knew how to talk to people.

Her phone chimed a quick tune that told Julia she received a text message. Julia walked over to her bed and picked up her phone, where it was plugged into its charger.

**Text from: Cassie**

_I'm on my way, See you in ten!_

Julia didn't bother responding knowing that by now Cassie was probably driving. _She was probably texting as she drove,_ Julia thought and a flood of worry crossed her mind. Cassie made her nervous when she did that.

Walking back in front of her mirror, Julia leaned in closer to get a better look at her makeup. Dark, subtle blue colored her eyes and a soft blush warmed her cheeks. Overall the makeup only accentuated her natural beauty. Natural would have been the way her mother wore makeup, Julia guessed. _Did you even wear makeup, Mom?_ She questioned silently.

There was still a lot of warring emotions he felt when it came to Jamie Sullivan, but for the most part Julia had come to peace with never meeting her Mom. Her father seemed to be happier too. She didn't find him crying in his room nearly as often. It had been a good seven months since she heard him. Maybe he was finally coming to peace with Jamie being gone too?

Satisfied with the way she looked Julia grabbed her purse and skipped down the stairs and headed into the living room.

Landon was in there, glasses perched on his nose and a small book in his hands. "Going somewhere?" he asked surprised to see she was dressed up and even going out at all.

"Yeah, Cassie invited me to a party." Julia replied and did her best to shrug off the surprise look on her father's face.

"Good," Landon said, a smile tugging on his lips. "That's good, sweetie. What kind of a party?"

Julia knew immediately what question he was really asking; _is there going to be alcohol or drugs there?_

Julia was about eight months from turning twenty-one. But if there was alcohol there she wasn't going to promise not to have a wine-cooler or something. She wasn't much of a drinker but sometimes she went for the lighter stuff. She wasn't sure if Landon knew she had tasted alcohol before but she wasn't about to tell him if he didn't know about it.

"Just a party, Dad, I don't know."

Momentarily, Landon put his book down in his lap and took his glasses off. While Julia had always lived more of a life like her mother, Jamie, Landon still had vivid memories of his reckless High School years surface. He for one knew first-hand the dangers that went on at some parties and he didn't want Julia in any harm if he could help it. "Alright, but I want you to promise me something."

Julia crossed her arms for a moment and then looked at her father. But the pure fatherly love he was emanating made her small defense mechanism fall apart. Carefully she uncrossed her arms and took a seat on the couch beside him. "What?"

"If you and Cassie need a designated driver, you call me," the seriousness in Landon's tone told her that he probably knew someone from his past that died from a DUI.

"I promise," Julia smiled softly at him, "I'll be fine, stop worrying."

Landon put his glasses back on, "I'm your father; it's my job. Have fun."

Right then Julia saw Cassie's small Honda pull into her drive. "I will, Daddy," Julia said, and gave Landon a kiss before running off toward the front door.

"Hey Julia!" Landon called, "I mean it! You call me, if you need me!"

"I will, I love you, Dad!" Julia called back and then within moments was skipping out the door.

Landon checked his wrist watch and saw that it was 6 pm. He knew that Amber was working the afternoon shift and would be off by seven. He wasn't sure why he kept thinking about her. She had invaded his privacy, talked to him like an upper status staff instead of a nurse, and _had beautiful green eyes._

He shook his head and took off his glasses to rub his temples. He didn't want to think of another woman. He wanted to think of Jamie, his beautiful angel…

And then something as soft as a whisper touched his heart and warmed his chest.

_Be happy_ it wasn't quite as tangible as her voice but it was definitely something real. He knew that voice and could never, ever forget it.

"Jamie?" Landon breathed, looking over his shoulder and around the room.

_Be happy. It's time to let me go._

"No, no Jamie… no," Landon took to his feet now and looked around the small living room. Tears burned at the back of his eyes and although he knew what he felt and almost heard was impossible, he found himself drowning in the moment. Whether he was losing his mind or completely sane, he loved the feel of his wife. She was there, beside him, he could feel her.

"_You were my life, Landon, but I am just a chapter in yours…"_ This time the voice sounded as if it was only inches from his ear. He could almost feel her lips gently caress the top of his head… and in that one moment he sank back into the armchair. He put the book aside, folded up his glasses and set them on the small table to his left and held his head in his hands as the tears began to fall.

* * *

Nick was lying on his bed, staring at his ceiling. The trial was still in progress. He couldn't know anything more than that. For all he knew he could have been on the placebo treatment. Nick would be downright pissed if that's what happened. Then he would have ended it with Julia for nothing.

_No, you had to do this regardless of the trial,_ he told himself. _You still have an expiration date stamped on your damn forehead._

Loud rock music suddenly blared to his left and absently Nick grabbed his cellphone. "Hey, dude, what's up?" It was his friend Greg on the line.

"There's a party going down at Mark's house. You should get out and come, man."

Nick crooked an arm under his head and thought about it. "I guess I can go. I've got nothing going on here."

"Great, I'll see you there."

Nick clicked the end button on his cell and lied there a moment just thinking. Being out with friends was the only thing that cleared his mind and gave him refuge from the tormenting thoughts of Julia and the decision he made.

Within ten minutes or so he was up and getting ready to go out for the night.


	10. Dangerous Waters

It was seven o'clock and Amber was relieved she was finally clocking out. It had been a long tiring day and she even had to deal with a tragic death in the ER. She had seen death before and this was not a new situation but every time someone died under her watch it was like a cold slap of reality. She couldn't help everyone and she had to accept that.

_You couldn't save Ned, either_ she said to herself. And just the memory of her former husband who had passed away a few years back brought tears unwillingly to her eyes. Grabbing her purse she headed out to her car and tried to keep the pain at bay. She had heard that the loss of a loved one was easier to bear overtime, but it only seemed to become harder.

She was just getting to her car when her cell phone chimed from inside of her purse. Swiping at her eyes as if the unknown caller could see that she was crying, Amber made her eyes were dry before finally answering her phone. "This is Amber."

"Hi Amber," the familiar male voice caught Amber off guard and she momentarily stopped in mid-motion of unlocking her car door.

"Dr. Carter?" She didn't bother to hide the surprise in her voice. As far as she knew he didn't work that day so why would he be calling off duty? "Can I help you with something?"

There was a long pause before he finally answered her. "Yeah, there is something you could help me with. Do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

* * *

By the time Julia and Cassie arrived the party was well underway. There was loud music and the two story house was so crowded the lawn was also packed with people. "Wow, what a turn out!" Cassie said and grinned over at Julia, "That means they probably have a lot of booze."

Julia quickly grabbed Cassie's hand and pulled her to a stop right outside of the house. "You're not planning on drinking, are you?"

Cassie looked surprised by the question. "Well yeah, sweetie, that's what parties are all about. Don't worry Mark will let us crash here tonight."

Julia felt betrayed a little that Cassie hadn't mentioned this plan sooner. She knew she could always tell her father she went back to Cassie's and spent the night but she hated lying to her father. "Alright," she said and followed Cassie into the throng of people.

Music was blaring inside and it took all of her effort to squeeze between people and keep Cassie in her line of sight. She was just making her way into the kitchen when a gruff hand wrapped around her and pulled her backwards. "Hey there, good looking," a voice murmured in her ear and a trail of kisses started going down the back of her neck.

"Let go of me," she said and fought to get out of his grip. She didn't know who it was and certainly didn't recognize it his voice which sounded slurred by the alcohol. "Cassie!" She tried calling for her friend but her voice was drowned out by talking and the loud music.

Meanwhile the kisses didn't stop and Julia found herself getting frightened now. "Stop it!" She screamed back at him when his hands cupped her breasts. "LET ME GO!" Even her frightened screams was drowned out by the music and with so many people shoved into such a tiny space she felt like she was all alone.

When his grip tightened and he only whispered, "Calm down," in her ear her instincts took over. Slamming her elbow into the man's stomach, Julia made a break for it the moment he let go of her. "You bitch!" she heard the man shout and his voice seemed to boom over the music. She scanned the crowd as she pushed through t toward the front door.

_Where is Cassie?_ She thought, panicking; And stole a glance over her shoulder to see the man come barreling after her.

* * *

Amber couldn't believe she was sitting across from Landon Carter, in a nice restaurant, for a second time. She didn't even know why she accepted but the offer to take her out caught her completely off guard and she didn't quite know what else to say.

After the waiter took their orders they both found themselves staring awkwardly at one another. "This is something I never expected from you," Amber said, speaking first. "When I got your phone call I thought you needed me on duty or something related to our job."

Landon nodded and absently ran his hand through his aging, slightly shaggy hair. "I know. I don't even know if this is allowed. Is dating colleagues allowed?"

Amber choked on the water she was drinking, "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" She placed her water down on the table, "Are we on a date right now? Because somehow I think I missed that memo."

Landon wanted to punch himself in the face. _How did that slip out?_

"We are…," Landon trailed off and tried to gather his thoughts. "Just out to dinner, I didn't mean to call it a date."

When their waiter stopped by Amber asked for a margarita and then absently began to plan with the small silver chain bracelet on her right wrist. "Uh-huh," she said. "Well I'm okay with calling this date if you are." She sent him a disarming smile, "Just next time maybe you should clue me in I was supposed to be your date."

* * *

Nick was just climbing out of his car a block down from the party and was feeling a whir of feelings. Mainly he couldn't wait to socialize because it was the easiest way to temporarily forget the pain he felt for losing Julia. He knew there would be plenty of alcohol but due to being on the drug trial had strict instructions to stay sober and though he desired a beer was not going to screw up his one chance at a cure for a quick fix.

"Hey man!" Mark was outside, congregating with a group of freshman women Nick recognized from campus and he couldn't stop the smirk that splayed across his face. Mark was and perhaps always would be a player. Loyal when in a relationship but the man preferred the single life and slept with a lot of women on his free time.

"Hey, finally decided to show up," Nick said and smiled at the woman who was very openly winking in his direction.

"Good, man, good. Well grab a beer, relax and enjoy the party," Mark said and wrapped his arm around the closest woman to him. "I think I'm going to relax tonight, what do you think?" his voice became incredibly intimate and Nick knew that was his cue to head into the house and let his friend do his thing.

"Leave me alone!" Julia screamed, pushing through the throng of people that were standing in the way of the front door. She turned around to face the man coming at her and before she could have reacted felt a fist collide into her cheek bone. Something snapped and her vision blurred as she was thrown backwards from the blow.

"You son of a bitch!" Nick was on the man in seconds; tackling the man to the ground and throwing punches. It took an entire crowd to pull him off. Blood covered the attackers face and Nick's hands but the anger he felt pumping through his blood dissipated the moment he remembered Julia. "Call the police," he said to Mark. "Call them now!"

"What? Dude, you want me to crash my own party?"

Nick grabbed Mark by the front of his shirt and pulled him close. "Damn it, someone's hurt, call the police!"


End file.
